he looked upset that i wasn't completely shaven. i reminded him he had begged. and beggars can't be choosers.
thanks for leaving the note with the doctor's recommendations for my lip, they are dissolvable stitches right?
I used puppy pads next to the couch for her to throw up on....
I awoke this morning to a naked boyfriend flying a remote controlled shark around his apartment. This is my life.
I just had cybersex with some guy from the Netherlands for 2 HOURS instead of doing my History project...how's your break going?
Shit. I'm running the whole hotel right now. The front desk girl had to run home because she left her vibrator on the counter and her brother, mom, and grandmother surprised her and are showing up to her place before she gets off work. This will end badly no matter what.
You should photoshop their heads on tigers first!!
For my parents' annivery card? How high are you?
The drag queen we did coke with is going to be on Ru Paul's drag race. I feel so proud.
posting about faith hill is really not helping you get me into your bed
I can't wait til I'm a real grown up and am no longer expected to take 7 shots of raspberry ruby as a pregame to a night of drinking natty lite
I think I met somebody from your birthday this past weekend. He said I held a push up contest outside the bar and told them I would make out with the winner. He said he won..
I'm gonna get drunk in the shower and yell at my parents during dinner. Have fun in Texas.
im on the hungover til tuesday pabst blue ribbon diet
excused from jury duty. THAT hungover...
Drunk. Send nudes. Just curious.
Randomize
