it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
i just told my mom tuesday boozeday rhymes so that she can remember not to text or call me on wednesday mornings
youre going to kill that woman one of these days
I lost of the blow last night. Found it later in my bag labeled Fairy Dust.
on todays agenda: meeting with a life coach then going to the dollar store to buy batteries for my vibrator. clearly im still unemployed.
she reminds me of the first time i discovered masturbation. that's how you know it's true love.
Thats why you have fulfilling relationships with nice girls and i have kinky sex with crazies
i mad aa ber float. budweiser nd ice creem. it amzig.
Note to self: You can't deep fry cheese-its.
My vagina supports interfraternal relations
my night ended with a pity blow in a racecar bed
How bad is it that I'm banned from all of your family functions due to sleeping w/ both your brother and sister and they both hate me for pursing a relationship with either of them.
The guy who just got ate on True Blood had the same balls as you.
Spotify knows me way to well. You mention swinger club and guess what it shuffles to? Danger Zone by Kenny Loggins
All I ever do is give guys anxiety problems and flaccid penises.
You is single now. The world is your ass buffet.
Randomize
