it was better than the time i puked and I forgot to open the lid of the toilet
that girl is introducing herself into your group of friends one dick at a time.
Nope, just sitting on the couch, eating an advent calendar, being depressed about the herps.
how was ur day?
this is strictly sexting don't make small talk.
It's like a puppy that we have to take care of at all times or else she'll get sad, lonely, and chew on the furniture. And by 'chew on the furniture', I mean have anonymous sex.
After you verbally abused the McDonalds employee for not making your fries fast enough, the fact that you woke up on a random lawn does not surprise me.
So if you ever need to know a guy who knows a guy who knows a guy that can put a 24oz beer can up his ass... Hit me up...
I should not be in class today. For the professors sake.
I dont know what we smoked last night but I woke up and found out I started writing a book called White Trash Princess. Its the best thing Ive ever read
His flight is delayed. Mother Nature is delaying me from sex.
Well we had to pull over on a side street in town so I could throw up while moms were driving by with car loads of kids, I feel like I just performed a lil silent AA film for the childrens
Also, you need to stop getting hammered and taking showers with people.
He seems like a super lonely dude. I bet if I gave him a picture of my tits he wouldn't make me turn in this paper.
He wrote on the bartenders notepad "phone?" So I wrote back "911"
He put his SoundCloud on his Tinder bio. I felt personally attacked.
Randomize
