I got everything I ever gave her back, every picture, and money for the dog. I didn't want it she brought it all back and gave it to me. clothes jackets, pictures, dried flowers, ear rings, necklace...
Sell it on ebay and let's go to the bar
when she started arguing that Girl Talk was in fact a DJ, i knew i could never sleep with her
when we woke up the fish was dead lying next to us on the bed. wat should i tell her
and you think what you did last night was bad? at least you didnt go wake up a sleeping guy for birthday sex.
Waiting outside the STD clinic 30 min before it opens already in a line up. It's like were all waiting for a concert that no ones really pumped for
We all told you to throw up but you just stuck your head in the toilet and screamed..
Ya know, since we do have alot of sex with each other i figure i should wish you a happy valentines day
You would ignore him even if it wasn't NoManUary. It could be the Winter of a Thousand Dicks and you wouldn't talk to that guy.
The Winter of A Thousand Dicks sounds terrifying!!!
How does she have a hairless cat and a husband it's not fair. Both are hard to come by
If I showed up at your door with pizza and a bottle of tequila wearing nothing but chaps and a fireman helmet, would you send me away?
Only my second night back in town and I already have drunk middle aged women doing the robot around me in a circle.
Tony's mom to him at breakfast: "I found the shirt you wore last night in the bushes this morning."
Family trip though. I generally don't wheel too much ass with the fam in tow. Despite the fact my parents would be pleased if I did.
you said "it's karaoke night" and tried to use my dick as a microphone
So what we learned was that it doesn't matter how skinny the stripper is, if she sits on your knee with a torn acl for two hours it's going to swell up
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