Where you are. You must stay where you are are
Where you are. You must stay where you are arewhere are youu
Where you are. You must stay where you 5eare wher are you!!
She made fun of how I walked so I announced to her boyfriend that I have cum on her face before.
you know that hot chick that stutters? talk about an awkward orgasm
Slept on the counter again. Mom covered me in an apron.
I don't think we should have started that trash fire
Bro, there is a rent-a-cop selling syringes out of the trunk of his car. This is why I hate the DMV.
Who the fuck superglued glowsticks to my arm.
He walked into the pizza shop... Pulled the fire alarm.. And proceeded to dance to it...
You were sending me snapchats from a bathtub with your beer helmet on and your boobs out.
I've gotten 2 singers numbers, a 6'5 dude has promised to take me to Oktoberfest, and I spent the night w a pilot named Zeus who looks like caramel tastes. Also I sprained my thumb punching some guy I named 'hater'. I love Nashville
There was a trampoline and tequila. It was glorious.
Listen I'm tryna celebrate your divorce. Sometimes that calls for drinking on the toilet.
i just passed i guy i once let listen to me masterbate on the phone...nyc is not big enough
do nipples grow back?
hey sorry i didnt call i just got out of jail, so you still dtf ?
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