Ugh I have so many sins to confess tmw at church, you just made me think of many more I've made on that street alone
She went to college and exploded out of the slut closet.
Im rethinking drunk tuesdays. Also rethinking ovaries.
Most guys don't get turned on by "skinny, gangly legged girl with glasses laying in bed touching herself." You better start working on your diction if you're gonna keep up the sexting.
my neighbors are having lesbo sex right now.
I'm on my way.
Woke up and went out for a cigarette and it was dead quiet. It was like the world just knew how many mistakes were made last night.
like stop trying to get a relationship out of this when i'm clearly in the drunken mistakes part of my life.
Give us adventure or give us cock. Or cocktails.
The bag I'm bringing home for the weekend: a change of clothes, workout shoes, and sex toys, that's it.
do you remember showing me a picture of your husbands penis last night?
yea! the mushroom one. i would only show you.
I hooked up with a guy dressed up as morning wood. Needless to say he lived up to his costume.
You dove at him but passed out mid dive. Shame it wasnt a costume party your superman suit wouldve been clutch in the situation
I would have rather been getting my vagina slowly waxed all day then be here.
Bring vodka when you get back from court.
The Adderall says yes, but my body says no.
Randomize
