Why must guys tell girls who are a little bigger that "they like a girl with meat on her bones?" Yeah needless to say he went home alone
please don't go to jail. I'd hate to have to call the montgomery county jail every time I need sex advice
You now know someone who has just successfully talked his way out of being arrested for breaking into the town library at midnight. Ive been home for too long.
I'm not sure how appropriate a drug deal is while at a wake.
This has been the biggest binge-drinking season of the decade.
Just took the worst coed shower ever. We both cried. AND I only shaved one leg.
Too bad they don't have an emoji symbol for condoms and 99 cent tacos
I'm. Arresyed bur sierra ue obbe of mt vet friends. I hope we can tyajk ane gwt ob the same page. Ur aweaome ttyl.
You went home with a man in a loincloth
I just watched him leave in half a loincloth. Don't you just love Halloween???
my roommate just said she thinks she got a flashback or some memory of me getting hit by a car.
I think I just got propositioned for sex by the lady behind the counter at dunkin donuts
Security deposit gone.
burned down garage with fireworks.
just put a ruler in a cup trying to measure how much ivve had to drink..... God help me
cmon you know I'm perfectly capable of something that ridiculous 100% sober
The worst part is there are all kinds of happy creatures out here like fucking snow white and i'm sitting in semi-dead grass, hungover with a burnt butt
Randomize
