Just wanted to let you know that if you need my services as a male dancer for his birthday, let me kno so I can clear my schedule
And for 6 straight hours, I laid on my bedroom floor trying to convince myself it would perfectly acceptable to pee on my own floor
Seriously... There's something wrong here. I'm drinking vodka to mask the smell of chocolate on my breath before I get home and he finds out. I fucking hate couple dieting...
You were hugging the toilet and shouting "don't let fatty eat me" through the closed door.
An there's a little girl across the bar eating Mac n cheese... #1 she won't stop looking at me. Boo bitch I'm drinking alone. #2 I'm about to tackle her ass for that Mac n cheese.
He sent me a picture of myself smashed completely butt naked passed out on the couch and said "at least I'll have these memories"
Why does She think it's her duty to welcome in freshman through the welcome mat that is her vagina
This time, try to not get fingered in the middle of the living room.
I DIDNT GET FINGERED
I was rubbed
I have a busted ear drum from when he honked his horn when we started to have sex on his car in the parking lot...
People will call it the Wrath of the Froyo. We'll be immortalized.
Plus i lost a button on my shirt and we got free drinks all night. Sorry I'm not sorry.
So what other shows do you masturbate to? Or is it just friends
He was trying to break into my apartment to get the coke he left last night, didn't engage parking break, so the van started rolling. yup, it's broken.
Unless your name is actually "Ticfj" like my phone says, I have no idea who you are...
After the "sex" was over I dressed as quickly as possible. And then he came over to me stark naked and embraced me. For over a minute. And all I could think was please get your penis off my dress.
Randomize
