Maybe I'll tuck it in and pretend to be a woman pretending to be a man that is attracted to women that are attracted to women who look like men
eh.. i should've known it was headed downhill after he used the phrase "pussy sundae"
It's like God shit irony all over that family
so i asked him why he doesn't wanna see me anymore and he said he was questioning his sexuality. cool.
Hemmingway ran to paris to avoid going to the university of illinois and becoming a doctor. It was there he developed a drinking problem. I need a plane ticket.
There are Star Wars cutouts in his basement. Obi Wan Kenobe watched me give him a handjob.
Bathrooms are cool, I think Im just gonna hang out here for a bit.
i feel this will be the best possible way to start a friendship. By breaking into his house.
I know this is random but to this day I regret not having sex with you on that atv on the top of that mountain underneath the American flag.
Tell your friends I said hi and that if they touch your penis I'll cut off their hands.
She's wearing her dead grandmother's pearl on the married finger so no guys "bother her" tonight... I am not THAT committed to Girl's Night.
In honor of Sarah Palin's bday I suggest we watch Nailing Palin
What's the place called?
I searched "county" on google, but....there's a lot of results
It's 1pm, she's in the shower, I don't have the guts tell her I wasn't her blind date. Someone got stood up.
He lured me round with the prospect of sex and then made me proofread his CV and spoon. I fucking hate this guy.
Randomize
