Its not alright that i make out with a manican.
A homeless man in dtwn SF was blasting lil wayne and singing at the top of his lungs. I kinda wanted to give him my life savings
Needless to say Beer Gardens severly frowns upon playing flip cups with real glasses.
When she sits down, she uses her fat rolls like an arm rest.
Just found an "inspected with pride" sticker on or around my vagina
Luckily my prof thought I was puking from nerves and gave me motivational mini speeches the entire final.
hot buttered vodka was not a success. on any level.
You ever got drunk on $5? Cuz it's about to happen
What drugs are we doing when you visit?
The correct answer is all the drugs because I just found out they have glow in the dark bubbles.
also please imagine me hopping a fence at 3am using two chairs. It was a shit show. K's guy practically ripped her off the top of the fence bc she got semi stuck. It was like watching Disney on Bud Ice.
I'm using her Instagram as a way to know where in town she is so I can avoid her lol
We can't do acid Disneyworld.
The kitchen also doubles as a screaming room after midnight as long as you have something to muffle the sound
You know it's a pretty bad night when an injured penis is not the worst thing that happened to you. Fuck tequila
She left a cookie cake on my porch, and the frosting reads "I'm sorry". She left me an I'm-sorry-for-punching-you-in-the-face cake.
Randomize
