She wanted to watch a Baby Einstein DVD while we fucked. I'm pretty open minded but that felt a little creepy.
You bet me 100 dollars that the Raiders would win the super bowl this year. I have it on tape.
my mom noticed the "toothpaste" stain on my tshirt...she repeatedly attempted to get it off by licking her thumb and rubbing it. See Jenn it obviously doesnt taste that bad...
we couldn't afford a big pool so we bought 2 kiddie pools and put the inflatable beer pong table inbetween. get over here. now.
they named it eva bongoria. i had to hit it based on the name alone.
I think my vagina was keeping me fat all these years out of self preservation. It's like she knew what would happen if I lost the weight.
Wow thanks 4 throwing jello at me an yelling who invited that guy to all the guys at the bar
walking around pouring bird seed on passed out guys in the quad.
We didn't talk. I watched you drop an egg on the floor. And watched you praise your haunted broom.
I woke up at 6am to a knock and a naked guy at my window.
My landlord showed my apartment to a prospective tenant today and I had my vibrator and gun both chilling on my nightstand
Welcome to drink and talk like a Russian afternoon.
Pirate drinking day will be planned for shortly
I approve this so hard.
It's 10:15 on a Wednesday night and my dick is covered in pop rocks. How's your Wednesday going?
I decided taking Molly and seeing Birdman seemed like a wise life choice.
I didn't rip your fishnets, WE ripped your fishnets.
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