She's thinkin about havin beer pong at her reception... She's walkin a fine line between trashy and the best idea ever
You just kept taking about baking cornbread and doing your physics. Even drunk assed random you is a better student than me.
Only you would think wine and coffee was an acceptable finals study time mix
A girl at the bar is wearing green body paint instead of a shirt. Where are you?!
Mate, you pissed in my bed. Then told me to "Just keep swimming"
Steve brought 6 joints and 2 bottles of makers mark, Josh shat himself in the pool, and Amy blew me. Hope that extra 3 dollars an hour for working overnights is still worth it.
I know I don't have feelings for him because I feel completely ashamed every time after we have sex
i have achieved a new state of being which requires no food or water but is sustained only by coffee and pure, unrelenting rage
Thanks for being my pregnancy scare Sherpa...
Hes done the math! Hes calculated how much sex it's going to take to fuck 365 miles. Now thats a little brother im proud of. New resolutions are a go!
I put his pb&j sandwich in my bra and never looked back
I mean seriously there comes a time when you just need to take a crap in peace. Until he figures that out he can stay the hell outta my place.
I fear our relationship is coming to an end. Last night I felt the need to bloody apologise for waking him up with a blow job.
I'm texting you know although you won't get this until you wake up. the only reason you are strapped to your bed is because you were trying to fly out your window.
When I woke up today i said I will NOT sleep with her. This morning I did the walk of shame into work wearing the same clothes... How was your Monday?
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