i jus pukd everywherw but i took a showr, come cuddle
i just saw someone crawling up the stairs to the dorm while screaming "i have the best vagina!"
so, not only did she give him head while i was asleep next to them, apparently, it was bad head...
Are you serious?
yeah... as often as she does that, you'd think she'd be good at it...
At least you weren't that one girl in the bar that was letting everyone draw on her in sharpie. Worst decision I've ever witnessed.
facebook friend requested him the morning after while he was still asleep in my bed, a whole new level of creeper even for me
i've learned that i'm good at stealing things. like live cats.
We did a shot for each one. Father... son... and holy ghost. That wasn't enough though so we moved on to toasting dead relatives.
Ps there is nothing more humbling in the world than havin to watch cheaper by the dozen on the waiting room tv while getting the morning after pill at the drs. Nothing
That was obviously his first time talking dirty. He called my vagina "pretty"
I just want you and your enormous dick to be my fucking rebound so we can move on with our lives
Dude, we apparently put a washing machine drum in that back of your truck with the full intention of making a bonfire in it.
Yeah you're weird. You once told me you would by me a house in the middle of sex. Like as you were thrusting.
I had a threesome last night with my fiance' and our soon to be best man. Everyone is surprisingly chill about it this morning. Is this any indication of what the wedding night will be like?
You'd think that a rotation of two 30 year old men could keep me satisfied... WHY ISN'T THERE A MAN THAT CAN KEEP UP WITH MY HEALTHY SEXUAL APPETITE?!
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone’s dad. You’re also like a second dad to me as well. And one who I send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
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