so i did it. i barked while i was ejaculating. not a word was said by either of us afterwards.
so how much did i say i owed you?
$5 and a new fuck buddy.
shit is crazy. i just keep thinking that this kid growing inside Emily used to live in my balls.
By the way, I think my next facebook status update will read, "Aaron recently found out Vanessa's a screamer."
oh god.
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
We just did a shot to "getting laid in the bar bathroom". I love where this thursday is headed
In preparation of Wine in the Woods next weekend, today we're hosting Straight Vodka in the Bathtub
She shouted out halfway through "that costume does nothing to hide your cock". Last time we let her drink at the theatre.
Whenever I walk away from the group without saying anything, NEVER assume I'm just going to the bathroom.
Look, all I can tell ya is I want to drink wine out of a bottle while you eat me. It would be the most fantastic end to finals week. Maybe ever.
She failed the Charleston discretion test, although puking in her armpit was very innovative.
As a gentleman, I asked her if she was sure and she just whispered "wreck me" in my ear. I took that as a green light.
I'm having a martini with dinner. A new level of class.
I'm stoned and eating mustard, also a new level of class.
I promise that I won't shotgun beers with your boyfriend this time, Scouts Honor.
it'll be like a game of Russian Roulette, but with my vagina.
it wasnt that bad
you tried to climb into my fireplace while screaming TO DIAGON ALLEY! we didnt even watch harry potter. it was bad
Randomize
