ya know if you hadnt broke up with me, that porno we made wouldnt have a 3.3 rating on youporn right now...
im going to forcibly insert an angry corn snake into his urethra
As of this morning, vodka still has the other side of my BFF necklace. She treats me right.
Dude. I tried to convince her to eat poprocks and give me a blowjob. It did not work out well.
due to concerns over safety, the theme of the 'naked fondue party' has now been changed to the 'naked fondue party with optional apron' please b.y.o.apron. extra prizes for most creative apron.
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
i should not be allowed to orgasm that much in one day.
he proceeded to grab my vagina through my leggings in the middle of the dance floor. strangely enough I was okay with it
Time for jim to play the "dont seriously consider pooping in the trash" game
You're obviously not trying hard enough. GET LAID. Kittens die for less.
Touche salesman.
Hello. You don't know me, but word on the street is that we are now eskimo sisters. I feel like we should go out for coffee and compare experiences.
The golf course isn't that incognito for sex.
Noted. Next time you want to get fried chicken and cocaine.
Ok. That just sounds baller.
Took an adderall for the first time in a few weeks. Spent 45 minutes peeling an orange TO PERFECTION.
just so you know they found you begging for money at the L station. What the fuck did you drink last night?
Randomize
