Spencer Pratt, I WILL beat the shit out of you someday, I Promise
Sweet. Might not hurt to poop on the floor anyway.
Her "get-your-paper-done-early-blowjob" incentive is the thing that has successfully deterred my procrastination
I feel like royalty, that girl from last night had a vajazzled vag. Bucket list complete.
I'm gonna have sex with a woman...help
whoever put homecoming and halloween on the same weekend owes me a new liver and a get out of jail free card.
No clues in my phone. Only dialed call: my own social security number. And that was before 10:00pm.
I wonder what it's like for my roommate to live bicuriously thro my sex life
I feel a five day drunk coming on.
Just keep my face away from hard objects. And by that I do not mean erect penised.... those are totally fine. It's more just things like rocks, table edges, blunt objects, etc so I don't get another concussion.
I'm looking at some sugar baby profiles to get some insight on what we're up against.
Stephen I'm in a lecture and the lecturer just said 'you can CHOOSE to put something in your mouth and swallow it" i'm the only one here who burst out laughing, this is awkward. Thought you'd appreciate it.
They'll never let you practice medicine.
Someone explain why I'm twerking in my bathroom right now before a charity run
I legit just swiped right with a Tinder feminist just to get in an argument with her. Soo that's my Friday night so far...
I woke up and found that i was using my computer as a pillow. i had 53 pages of random letters on Microsoft word
Randomize
