I just heard a girl say "We can't go that way, it is a one way street." She was on foot...Nothing worse than girl from the midwest that move to NY to "live out their dream" -the dream of living in a rat and roach infested 200sqft for $2k a month, and get fucked by some recent Ithaca college frat grad...
He's at the gym. He likes to get high and swim cause it makes him feel like a fish.
Life lesson. Learning to pee left handed is easier than learning brickbreaker left handed. Rather lose a few drops than a few lives
Seriously. You just grinded your ass all over the heisman trophy's dick. I want you to think about that.
I was just on craigslist and saw and ad for a naked yoga instructor. I will no longer be jobless.
I'm really proud of her, she waited until she was on tiled floor to start puking on the ground
Take this only to mean that we love you, but we're having a serious, half-hour, hypothetical discussion about how far we think we could throw you.
I wish you would just come have sex with me in ihop. I don't want to be here
Saturday at 4 is jello wrestling sponsored by the senior class council. That's why my school is awesome. Boom.
He was more tolerable with alcohol in my system. I woke up to him squeezing me and telling me how he wanted to dip me in strawberry jam.
I need to puke. I need a shower. I need rehab. I need to detox and puke. I feel like demons are inside of me.
He came over and said its legs day so put them in the air! Fucked me for 30 minutes and said he had dinner reservations to go to. Well i just ran into him and his friends hammered at Taco Bell
My buddy just got straight up kicked out of the bar on my bday for water boarding people with beer and bar towels
We're going through the drive-through at mcdonalds while pulling sam behind us in the wheelchair and having them hand him the food. Let me know how this went in the morning
What! I said that you would fall in love? See I know better. Dark liquor makes me think everything is a dream. I barely remember saying that
Randomize
