That's the secret to virgins: blizzards.
were not allowed back there because i puked on the waitresses foot while trying to order another round. for myself.
We need to find a way to make penises more like hookahs.
Friends don't let friends talk to people who live in Orlando. Sorry I've failed you.
It was ok at first, but now im getting freaked out by him jerking off to me doing yoga
Getting business cards printed for tonight. Would you rather be: 1. Vice President of Argentina 2. Celebrity Dental Assistant or 3. Dial-Up Internet Technician
3. Dial-Up Internet Technician.
If court goes my way we are flying to Vegas.
I don't mean to insult you, but did you leave your training bra in my bedroom last night?
AFTER I licked the bald guys head they told me we weren't playing
I'm making a date with someone on Playstation Home. That's how my sex life is going right now.
She's chasing her own tail and is afraid of her own feet. My stoner cat, ladies and gentlemen.
Actually we have similar relationship styles aka no relationship... it could work
You need to stop showing people the things i drunk-text to you... i have a reputation to uphold here
Is it possible for mice to climb? If so I think mice are climbing into my bed in the night and playing with my hair..
Dude, he came to our house with a beer can in his hand dressed up in a chicken suit screaming, "free eggs!" then threw up and passed out in the front yard.
Randomize
