Her vagina is like Vegas. high traffic and full of glitter.
i'm high and 74% sure there's a monster in my closet
She looked like a pterodactyl.....but dude i love dinosaurs
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
She has no definite jawline and all of her photo's have Ke$ha quotes as captions followed by a "<3" Even by your standards that is embarrassing.
Apparently I gave him a 'Steve jobs blowjob'
sarah just described his penis as "like bong-girth." I'm gunna go for it.
If we worried less about pouring champagne down stripper crack, we probably wouldn't skip so many meals.
Some guy thought i was the waitress and handed me his credit card. drinks on me.
diet's not working. come over. i need someone to fuck the hungry out of me.
I'm going to fuck every single member of the men's olympic swimming team and no one is going to stop me
Also, if asking a guy to come over and watch curling with you doesn't scream let's fuck then idk what does
Update: day 5 and Scott has not left the apartment. Still smoking. Pizza roll supply dwindling.
My Sexting was not on an AP level
I think I'm actually too depressed to do drugs, wow.
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