Chill out big head. its weird when girls look at dudes asses
I think it's safe to say me, swords and vodka can never be aloud in the same room again.
In case you were wondering, it hurts when the bouncer throws your phone at you after kicking you out of the strip club for taking pictures.
I can't help but be optimistic. I'm like a ball of slutty sunshine.
Hu mahhiw im so tired.i just got done. In fo dleepu. Aaaaaaahh. I qisj my mom filmed me. In axtunf so funny
Just did a walk of shame dressed as a cowgirl and walked past his ex's entire sorority. Yippee kye aye, motherfucker.
I'm at this kids house trying to figure out if I pissed in his kitchen new years eve. Lmao, stop letting me drink.
you said candy land and then passed out.
ps. we found your stash in the candyland game. Thanks.
I know you're on vacation but you should know I just walk of shamed through a hotel lobby while leaving a threesome on Friday the 13th. Fuck superstition, I win.
I'm auditing financial statements and ur growing weed this is bullshit how did this happen to me
I'm going to need a Jurassic park sized pooper scooper to deal with all this shit last night caused.
I'm home alone for the next hour and a half, I expect soup and and a willing attitude to do drugs from one of or both of you girls.....annnnnd go
I don't think it's food poisoning, I think it's cause you cooked it over burning styrofoam
He asked me to come stay with him so he could "see that ass and watch Harry Potter."
I just recommended that the library purchase the first major hentai with tentacle porn. Really, I'm doing everyone a favor.
Randomize
