Don't be a dummy cum on the tummy. Make her a slut, and cum in her butt. Have no fear, jizz in her ear. Don't be a noob, cum on her boob. Forget her rack, blow on her back. Just take off your coat and jizz in her throat. And if she seals off her holes, cum in her rolls
is that a poem?!
u were so high that u chewed on candle wax for an hour
I passed out and woke up with my pockets full of Lucky Charms cereal and chocolate coins. Another successful St Pattys Day.
My piss changed color midstream. Think that means I have a 50/50 chance of passing the test?
why do you have a stuffed bear wearing a thong and a seatbelt in your backseat??
i like being sick. whatever the doctor gave me is awesone. the walls are waving at me. i never want to get better.
I still can't believe he came down from his hiding place in the tree voluntarily because he didn't want us to have to talk to the cops alone...
He took the Gold in Olympic clit licking last night. Canada should be proud.
the only good thing about going home with him was that he was prettier than me.
I woke up to my bra draped over his lamp and a huge bump on my head. apparently, I face planted while having sex in the shower..
Pretty sure my boner drove me home. Like it didn't just do the steering it was the gas and brake too..
I might as well walk around wearing a sandwich board and accept the fact that I'm dying single.
It's really hard to tweet with a pussy in your face demanding attention.
I JUST SNEEZED WITH A MOUTHFUL OF CHEWED UP CASHEWS AND THEY CAME OUT MY NOSE AND IT HURT AND NOW I HAVE A LITTLE NOSEBLEED
on a scale from 1 to "can't put a toothbrush in your mouth without gagging" how hungover are you?
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