I served up a girl her first a2m the other day. You would have been proud.
he looked about as manly as a guy in a volkswagen bug can look
Sitting in the library lobby in the middle of exam week. Drunk. Dressed as santas slutty helper. Waiting for the student shuttle service. People are clapping for me as they walk by. Tell me how this isnt college
you were sitting on the floor cleaning up your own puke and telling my mom she should hire you as a maid.
I need to stop making out with boys in plain view of half my class.
He looked like Harry Potter. I had to do it.
They found an open window, climbed through and proceeded to arrest half the party. These campus cops are like fucking ninjas.
As long as you're not dating white guys again.
Why does he only make me orgasm when I'm about to break up with him?
dude, my ass and shoulder hurt from that kayak last night... note to self: wood planks holding kayak from ceiling do not also hold up a human being
This is kind of a weird question but were you the other girl Ben asked to do a group sex thing with?
Oooo. Can we pretend to be Amanda Bynes?
She bought wigs like Disney princesses. I want to be her.
why does CNN give a flying $@*# about the royal baby so, so much?
i hope they name him Joffrey
sent a snap of my boobs out to my FWB his response was what happened to your other nipple ring.. how do I say it got ripped out by my other FWB last week without sounding like a slut
I don't know whether to laugh it off or be pissed at him..I got pulled over this morning leaving his place and the officer thought my hickeys were hand prints around my neck and asked if I needed to be escorted out of town.
No, no... It was great. I feel like my liver took a vodka shower and washed it's hair with pabst
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