yea, the bartender wouldn't serve you because you kept asking for "a slice of beer"
According to google history I spent most of last night trying to buy an elephant.
her bf's celebrating 10 yrs of service at kfc...it's safe to say all the good men are taken
also: i found my "nug jug", actually the baby did, but either way it got returned to its rightful owner
Also, I threw up on the playground again. I've honestly had more fun there this past summer than I did in my entire childhood.
I don't know how I feel about the stuff we got from that guy. Me and Monty are driving through town listening to static at full blast...
The bartender charged us for drinks. Life is different.
The Medal of Honor you banged could be at the inauguration today. You really dropped the ball on keeping up with that one.
I asked Tony because I knew he wouldn't give me a lecture about consequences
???? Tony IS a lecture about consequences
We popped the air mattress last night via sex and we just kept going but it feels like I have a bruise on every vertebrae
Other than unclothed paranormal encounters, how has your day been
COCAINE AND SUSPENSFUL BBC SHOWS DO NOT WORK.
I had to carry him up the hill while he was wearing nothing but knee high socks and a blue glitter sequin leotard.
Why is this not a picture message?
She just took all of the blankets in the house and threw them in the yard, because 'the grass was cold'..
I saw some guy masturbating in the Burger King parking lot and I’m just fucking done
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