I am at a 420 party and i just told a girl "hey, less not getting donuts, more getting donuts"(1-855): and did she get any doughnuts?
No. I am devastated
That girl would be way hotter if she changed her face.
dude this girl next to me farted in the middle of a quiz and denied my high five
bitch
I woke him up and he was mumbling something about it being moist, or he peed himself but it was okay.
Was just told that I was slipped 2 hits of acid in my in flight drink before takeoff. 8 hours to Germany wish me luck
Either I put my underwear on inside out and wore it like that all day, or I had sex with him. Its sad I have to guess.
Apparently I covered myself in sunscreen before I went to bed. Im just assuming that due to the fact I found an empty bottle of sunblock
this mall makes me feel like I just rolled a 9 in jumanji and got the stampede card
the number of desperate girls at the gym right now is unfair. it would be cruel not to let one blow me.
I just tripped out to the Angel of Music from Phantom of the Opera in my car. Wayyyy to high for shuffle right now.
It took all the strength I had tto sit at my desk and not tear off my business attire and run screaming from adulthood and flourescent lights.
Tell him "come over but don't bring a flaccid dick"
Wear something tight
The hair on my legs is officially flapping in the breeze when I walk. I must say, being single does have perks and this is one of them.
Is it too soon for me to wonder what sex with him would be like?
He's nice to look at and knows the difference between your and you're. I win.
Randomize
