Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.
when I picked him up he smelled like cheeseburgers, had a bite mark around his left nipple and we think someone stabbed him in the forehead with a pencil... it was like the Hangover meets Texas Chainsaw Massacre
I'm so horny
I have no idea who this is, but I'm up for a lecture on self-respect
cliffnotes. writing studyguide on last pack of smokes. glad this semester is over.
Slipping me an edible before my ochem final was not your brightest idea. Looks like I'm switching to business.
His penis without viagra is what breaks my heart.
She face-timed me on the toilet. My dick is never going to recover from that.
remember how i yelled at you for inviting that coke dealer to the party?! i found the $100 bill they were snorting with in the couch.
..new slutty dresses or booze? i won't even waste time with the i told you so.
I was on my way last night when some asshole yelled "make better life choices" out the window of his car. I felt so self conscious I went home.
I didn't want to walk to anymore parties because I found a cat. It was magical.
Please send me a thumbs up pic afterwards. No homo. After you've redressed and are heading for the walk of shame out of course
Let's put a bunch of beers in a backpack and shotgun them in a Red Lobster bathroom
Who looks around on a bright, sunny day and says, "you know what? Today I'm going to write gay dinosaur erotica"
Why would you trust me with ANYTHING!!!???
I’ve lost count of how many disciplines of science this conversation about Harry Potter has gone through.
Randomize
