i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
what do kids with lesbian moms do for father's day? like do you talk about it? is it awkward? do you get the butchy mom a card?
i made it my goal to pee in the sink of every apartment we went to last night. i didnt use the toilet once
You took a bar mat shot.
Just watched a girl fall down the stair and be to drunk to get up. The only stair in the bar. It's like watching a turtle on it's back.
This drive is very scenic
And I'm chugging whiskey in the back
As you should, soak in all this country has to offer
Eye drops are like seatbelts of being high. Think about it
Are you going to eat tacos off the floor again?
like, is this a date?? I'm sitting on his couch drinking a juice box while he makes taquitos in sweat pants
I am the oldest one here and I STILL feel like I need an adult. help.
We fucked for 9 months, but he didn't want anything serious. So, I got rid of him and went on a date with a guy last night that looks like Kylo Ren. Who's really winning here?
Also I ordered a dildo and I'm not sure if I want it still, so there might be a free dildo in your future
She's walking down the sidewalk with a notebook, a pencil, and a box of cheez its while yelling profanities at small animals.... I'm going 2 ask her where she was before this.
I left him naked in his bed. I did cover his junk with a blanket in case his roommate walked in later though. so I don't feel as bad about it.
woke up hungover this morning lying in a water raft covered in water.. i dont know if i should consider this good or bad
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