so the guy who showed me the apt today is now texting me and asking me out for drinks...he's at least 20 yrs oldr than me and highlights his hair, but part of me is wondering how low i can talk him down in rent during sex? wrong?
Lol speaking of weird...he just sent me a naked pic of himself that said "meow" at the bottom.
Since she's grinding up on your thigh right now, I'm sending you this text hoping it makes your phone vibrate in her vagina
Just think about it this way, every time you work Sunday, it's another $75 and that equals another hooker when we go to Amsterdam.
After 12 shots he decided to show us knife tricks. You can figure out how it ended
This milkshake tastes better than sex. Priorities, I have them.
Don't worry that pussy is fresh, I'd brush my teeth with it.
Waking up with a sore back because you put the team on it for jager pong all night
How does one go about breaking up with their bf on vacation?
Being in nursing school really pays off when your dealer tries to pass off naproxen as Percocet. Like I may have made a C in pharm but I aced the pain drug test
all his sexual metaphors involve condiments, should I worry?
My cat just tried to lay on my stomach while I was masturbating. And I let her because I am so starved for affection.
How does it feel to date your dad?
She came out of the bathroom listening to her iPod and crying. Then she started scream 'she will be loved'. She seems to be handling the break up well lol
He stole one of my good bras again. If I'm not getting laid I'm not putting with this shit. Also it's a walk of shame for you today, my car is suicidal again.
Randomize
