question: from what angle do you give a hand job. im confused..
All I remember was yelling at him, "Its becasue of people like you that it took us so long to get to the moon!"
Bars not open yet, I feel like a desperate alcoholic wandering around outside.
i was staring at it trying to desperately see a vagina
I'm already mentally preparing myself for the fact that I'll probably be sleeping next to a toilet.
I do. There's a bald headed guy whose kinda hot. I might rub his head. I've only had 2 beers
It is official. It's the year of doin married chicks. Similar to the year of virgins but without all the baggage.
It's safe to say that bucket of tequila night can NEVER HAPPEN AGAIN.
SHE JUST SHOVED MY HAND DOWN HER PANTS AT THE BAR
Don't text me with that hand
I'm going out w/ her for her b-day in a bit. I just talked to one of her drunk friends on the phone who asked if I could "handle 7 lesbian." This could be interesting.
Hypothetically going to the gym on coke was a good idea
I mean, that's eating your cake and fucking it too.
I was just thrown into the pool and now I'm surrounded by men... You would think this is the dream but I'm just confused
sweet Jesus, who thought 13 martinis was a good idea? 11 was probably sufficient.
You wouldn't happen to know why there's an inflatable monkey riding a mattress on my roof would you?
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