they say Disney World is the happiest place on Earth. It's a close second to the Super 8 on route 18. That place holds some great memories.
if it walks like a guido and talks like a guido, i'm gonna fuck it.
I just don't have the heart to tell my mom you peed in our washer machine last night.
These guys are walking up and down the hallway yelling, "Yo, is this the floor with the unisex bathroom?"
I might scale it back and go as an investment banker. Which is the exact same costume as James Bond on LSD. I just introduce myself differently.
As payment for all the times you have babysat me while im drunk, im giving you the shorts i stole from the guy i stayed with on friday night. They're clean. Come get em.
So..he has a girlfriend BUT she rarely writes on her wall and is only in 5 of his 371 tagged photos and her default pic is her with some other dude. It cant be serious
Oh my god you need to get off of facebook.
They made out. Sounded like hippos drinking water
I remember halftime. Then I woke up in Spain. I need a drink in order to process this.
Pierced my own nipple last night, and yes everyone did go absolutely nuts
You went to a drug deal in a onesie.
Would you still love me and fuck me doggie style if I had a dinosaur tramp stamp?
I fell asleep completely naked, standing up with my arms and head in the freezer
My farts smell like burning tires and false courage
i am risking my non lesbian vagina for your needs. i better be the best friend you ever had
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