They were fighting, but then they bumped into the bong and it shattered. After that they just hugged and cried.
I woke up and blew hamburger out my nose. That kinda night.
Nobody is stopping the marines from drinking in class on veterans day. They literally brought a cooler with a bottle of whiskey and vodka on ice. And are passing out red cups to anyone interested. Staying in Vegas for college has officialy become an A+ decision
I just woke up in bed, rolled over, and found a whole pizza.
this is the second day in a row.
Oh. Yeah. It's the same pizza then.
You made me pull over because you thought a leaf was a twenty rolling across the road.
So I am watching ghostbusters and I realized Rick moranis is basically in the friends zone than he turns into the key master bangs her and it leads to the end of the world...maybe there is a reason people are in the friend zone
I faked more orgasms with him then ever should be allowed for someone this pretty.
Id prob hit it, but i instagram edited her picture to make her look better. Ha. She should fuck me just for that.
How about we just have a naked taco night instead?
In an unrelated matter, im gonna eat you out so much later.
8 stitches. Next time I decide to twerk while doing a keg stand, stop me.
I hope April is a better month for dicks. March has been very disappointing.
I still blew him because I won't let allergies keep me from doing what I want. But I almost suffocated like 10 times.
why the hell did we go to a rave last night?
we didn't?
definitely went to a bar with strobe lights
JENNIFER. You passed out in a toilet with a color changing light in it.
I just want a guy who makes lots of money, has a skilled penis and the sex drive of a 22 year on Viagra. Is that too much to ask?
Randomize
