at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
if i were to get pulled over right now, the only thing i would be guilty of is listening to 90's Mariah Carey
Just got caught pissing on a plant in her room while she was in the shower first word out of my mouth were my bad
Sometimes i wish my penis was detachable that way i could take it off sometimes so i wouldnt get into these situations
Nicole, you can't keep coming over at 3am wanting to build igloos.
all i remember is him tryin to explain to the girls how to effectively hit the strip club with their bfs
hes actually pretty persuasive when he drinks
you peed off the balcony at your sisters and asked someone below to catch it with a cup
Tell me again why I left before the topless cake fight
I told this guy in the dining hall that he's a hippie god and he's never made eating yogurt so sexy
Yeah I mean once a gun is being waved around, its probably a good time to leave the party
But the music was sooo good
Yeah, reverse cow girl. She was on top and I was playing Flappy Bird behind her back. Easiest way to have angry sex.
I gotta give him props though, I've never been propositioned for sex via flash mob.
They found you popping and locking it alone in the parking lot
I said, hypothetically speaking, if I was going to be having some rough sex Friday night, when WOULD be the best time for a massage, mother dear?
my mom walked in on me eating her out, and i can never kiss my mother again.
Randomize
