Well i then put my mattress in my closet and am currently on it. This is a new one.
The required reading for this week is a paper about birds called great tits. Let's see my TA keep a straight face through this discussion.
I had to have the lights off to hide my face. I was laughing so hard I almost peed in her mouth
If tjhis were a lake full of vodka and i were a ducl Id swim my way down and ddrink my way up
I forgot not everyone drinks wine out of the bottle. My grandma just asked if i needed a glass with a disappointing look.
You fucked him. I baby bird fed him whiskey . I feel like we've bonded.
Apparently I tried my hand at mustard juggling. I wasn't very good.
You wanted to go find him and we told you to sit down cause you kept stumbling. You yelled " I CAN STAND!! It's the walking part I can't figure out!"
I'm not getting off this floor. I love this floor
You got banned for life from a $30 a night motel. What are you doing with your life?
I woke up with masking tape on my nipples this morning........... WHY DO BAD THINGS HAPPEN TO GOOD PEOPLE
I just compared my relationship to that double ended dong scene from Requiem. This day just took a turn.
Conversations really do change when your social worker had your dick in her mouth the other night.
I have seen you puke and 5 mins later rock my world. So there is hotness there that average people will never see..
I just met his mom for the first time with a hang over. Then we went to watch his 8 year old cousin get baptized. Apparently his family loves me. I should drink more often.
Randomize
