This bar is like a mediocre whore house....but free
Why does it say "go to Planned Parenthood tomorrow" on my dry-erase board?
Remember that one time i smeared period blood on your face?
I hate you
all her text said was "asdfhdaufhudshfuds" and i knew that meant come over
I'm at the bar and they've turned up lady gaga to cover the sound of the fire alarm.
Should I mail that cop his nightstick or just throw it away?
Can I have my ID back now or are you using it to crossdress again?
Lots of alcohol last night skiing this morning = me throwing up off chairlift
I HAVE to find her. I've got a pretty decent pic of her footprint on my headboard. Wonder if I can get one of the podiatry majors to help?
I snorted xanax while wearing reindeer antlers. Prancer gone wild. Have a merry Christmas.
doing squats while I brush my teeth.. gotta keep the booty in check
There's always a silver lining when massive voluptuous tits are involved
Note to self:A blacklight toga party at a frat house is a bad idea. Some things cannot be unseen
Girl you know I'm an advocate of debauchery but you might wanna check yoself.
He kept saying "Ayyyyyyy" during foreplay... during sex.... during everything! It felt like I was having sex with friggin Fonzie from Happy Days!
Randomize
