I just spilled my beer all over my laptop.. this is what i get for actually trying to do homework
But then he started to talk about his wedding he wants and I quote " and yes parts will be choreographed"
I've never seen the starbucks guy more terrified than when you dove out the car window after your credit card
4pm on a Sunday....roomate fucking like a wildabeast while I have a organic chemistry study group in my kitchen.
gave you a haircut while you slept. Please don't kill me.
This is the last weekend of getting drunk and having sex all nite with the plumber. I'm exhausted all weekend and I'm never going to finish the remodel at this rate
by the way- Brandy out of a doggy bowl was AMAZING
It is 9pm, let the ass parade to the bars begin
In her drunkenness, she packed a bag with tequila, two shot glasses, salt, a knife, and two pears. She was prepared but too high to distinguish pears from limes.
I drew a nude short fat middle aged woman today and liked it
It was honestly one of my favorite days in art class except for the 20 min she faced me and kept looking at me and we made eye contact
i gave up on the vacation being fun the night i ate all the marshamallows out of the lucky charms while everyone else was having sex in the condo
Well, that was my first dog walk of shame. Nothing says "I've got my life together" like an inside out shirt and a baggie full of dog shit.
She loves introducing her friends to my foreskin.
I think I just found my soul mate...he's wearing a zebra striped onesie and is into Michael Jackson...I'll explain in the morning.
Soooooooo high. David tried to rinse the water droplets out of the sink for 5 minutes
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