I know i'm drunk when the "men" sign on the bathroom sounds chinese
I am currently prioritizing my hw by splitting into things i can and things i cant do drunk. Oh college
Lost is over, my longest committed relationship is coming to an end.
Made a visit to my old puking stall. I missed it.
I just remember her telling me "Hi, my names Kaissa and I'm a lesbian" over and over and over and over again as I was crying.
This is even worse then that time I fucked a guy just because he had air conditioning.
i'm pretty sure i saw my life flash before my eyes when we ran a red light. i continued to drink and be the drunk backseat driver.
ill give you the fast version. Hooked up with 17 year old coworker while housestting for my boss
I woke up to a hotel manager knocking on my car ( window was down) and asking if I was ok
Haha. Fifty shades ain't got shit on me. My tits look like they got in a fight.
Kyle found me outside his apartment in the hallway. Said he didn't hear me knock bt smelled alcohol through the door. I'm sucha bitch to my liver
He was smart enough to bring a condom to our study date so I mean I'm sure he'll do fine on the test
At least you didn't wake up next to your professor who then proceeded to cancel class via phone while still inside of me.
When I woke up this morning I swear my mouth tasted like dick and rolaids.
I’d clean the kitchen before making food. Mark “rang in the New Year” with some rando in there last night
Randomize
