I hate bills.
Like ones you have to pay or people named William?
and when i put it inside her she yelled "welcome aboard!"
dude, that chick is coming to see me and stay for 2 nights. I'm hitting the 3rd in the trifecta of friends.
You're one hell of a depraved bastard dude, I'm borderline speechless. You officially win.
They all have matching tattoos so they're all official bffs. I love my life.
screw that ipod for my birthday.. i just want a weed brownie the size of my face. that's all.
And my cat won't make me food. She's a bitch
Just received a visit from the Ghost of Bad Decisions Past. Kind of weird 90% of the flashbacks happened in the same sixteen month span, the rest happened at Taco Bell.
I'm expecting you to come by soon and a magical night of sex and floating on clouds to follow.
Jelly. This is your "are you still alive" text. Any response will do.
Hey I found a cat!
What is soo wrong about a house of half-naked people hugging each other and laughing?
The pinata full of drugs?
Why the fuck is he under my phone as Papi Chulo?
Just tried to dig out holes in my mattress for my boobs so I could be comfortable lying down on my stomach
I better make out with at least 3 princesses and 4 animals this weekend.
Just seriously saw this chick say, watch this motherfuckers then did a 42 sec keg stand.
You at least asked for her number right?
I just punched myself in the vagina to prove a point. Please pray for me.
Right. Cuz nothing screams "You made it!" quite like selling your used underwear to strangers you met on the internet.
Randomize
