I just googled dawgpound, shoulda seen that pornsite coming
I feel like my nuva ring should have a vibrating switch.
so jimmy johns showed up at our party last night. our house is sponsored now. living the dream.
Drunk. I slept-stripped.
By myself.
Put you drinking hat aside for Tuesday. My buddy is bartending!
I just puked in my drinking hat.
YOU STOLE THE WEDDING CAKE?!?!
Only one tier
Tastes like cardboard anyway
You called me and said "Aidan's unconscious" to which he said "I'm conscious, I'm conscious pilot"
He was filled with the holy spirit. And vodka.
What's great about college is that i can eat chocolate cereal for every meal and call it a money saving technique.
I feel like David Hasselhoff when he's drunk eating that cheeseburger and crying. But with cheesecake.
I feel like you can't break up with someone on 420. It's against stoner code
Our friendship just got weirder. He snapchated me the porn he was watching.
Good dick will make you do a lot of things… Great dick will make you consider buying a house.
I also fell asleep on the side of a tree so like I hit my lowest point there but it was a good time
Not as bad as when you were sitting in the pond getting fed water
The married guy I've been fucking broke it off because I'm not a trump supporter and don't share his "traditional values".
It was weird, it was like my heart got a boner. Is this being an adult?
Randomize
