I'm lost and stupid without you.
i'm forgoing the post-coitus cuddling sesh to ask u this :when he says he loves me and all i can think to say is either "cool" or "i love boning you," what do i do?
I may be a little high but I'm pretty sure my alphabet soup has only Os in it
We call that spaghetti Os
I just saw grafitti that read "Mug The Fart Eater". Really, Memphis? That's all you've got?
I can't tell whether I'm throwing up blood or licorice.
She bought a fucking hedgehog. And that's just the tip of the crazy iceberg.
I told the girl who was peeing in the garbage can she must have had a lot of upper body strength.
You tried to sled down the middle of the street. In. Your. Coat. Of course you are bruised.
he quoted the bible to break up with me
2 more and I will have fucked 75 percent of my acting class. best. elective. ever.
After she cried and passed out at four in the morning, I had a very lovely, very drunken conversation with her mother while decorating a cake into the shape of a penis.
i have 90 minutes to kick this food poisoning or josh's first experience with buttsex will be his last
I just want to let it be known that I almost put my phone in the fridge.
By the way I peed in a mug last night cause you were in the bathroom and im pretty sure it is still in the kitchen.
I grinded with the guy who brought the scooter, I'm leaving with success
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