Well for one thing, she was eating rice with a shot glass.
I'll name the documentary, "The Adventures of Megan's Vagina"
i have wind burn on my face from my head hanging out the window of the cab vomitting
That sucks. I just talked to a telemarketer for 15 minutes about CSI: Miami and weed.
i have now been nicknamed the screamer on the first, third, fourth, & six floor by all the ra's. only two more floors to go before i cover the entire dorm.
my stepmom is let-the-dog-eat-out-of-her-mouth drunk. oh my god.
He added me on Facebook. I'm pretty sure he got my name from the inside of the bra I had lost in the frat house.
He's blaming gravity for his problems right now, so put that in perspective
This is your typical drubkba Amy test. Shout out to jisus for auto correct
I have a physical this friday. On a scale from 1-10, 10 being the most judgemental gay bashing, how much judgement am I gonna get from my dr when he checks my balls and sees the cherry tattoo
Come share oat with me in your robe
I've been with my family a total of 20 minutes and I'm ready to go on a bender. This is going to be a long weekend.
WELL I DIDNT KNOW IT WAS POSSIBLE TO COME SO HARD YOU HAVE AN ASTHMA ATTACK BUT HERE I AM
You drunkenly told one of the campus security guards that you liked his headset. In return he introduced himself, lit your cig, and told us that if anyone was giving us shit to call and ask for him... Best campus security ever.
Never let the horse trainer ride you, always ride the horse trainer. I have huge bruises on my thighs from his hip bones. That's how hard he rode me
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