you started keeping track of only every even numbered drink you had
I think if I could use my boobs as a second pair of hands everything would be ok
As I climbed in the bathroom window from the room I noticed both him rommates staring and talking about me in the hall...
He's a waiter, looks 15, and told me he loved me after only talking to me for 30 minutes. I told him I wanted a margarita. We got 3 free pitchers. I may have to make this our regular Wednesday night hangout.
Aqua-barf. When you are about to puke in the toilet but pass out face first instead...and then puke. WITH YOUR FACE IN THE BOWL. There is no escaping the puke ring you have on your face. I know first hand.
Scary. I thought trees were a lie and that someone ha permanently stenciled them into my life. No joke.
I have a broken liver
I see that the whole "let's take a break from drinking" has worked out really well for us.
Omg it was awesome. At one point she says "cum in me, I'm too old to get pregnant".
Any man who has a face like that and a bike, deserves a vagina like yours permanently.
It's a low moment when you're looking at your girlfriends tits on your daughter's phone..
I'm so high that hamburger just went up my nose. Mustard BURNS
Whatever. I just want to indulge in this mcchicken and forget all about his tiny penis.
I dont even remember what i was saying but just one minute i was crying and the next i was showing u my genitals
is it sad that a disney movie is making me horny?
Its like a glacier coming out of my asshole.
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