He told me I remind him of his sister...
Was this before or after you did it?
before... I mean, it's been a long time. I just tried not to think of it during.
Best part is I totaly had to get into my dads car like I didn't have my pants off two minutes ago.
i wish that i had sketchier friends so that it would be easier to get drugs
talk of her extensive whoreness has crossed oceans. thats impressive.
He told me I handled myself pretty well considering how drunk I was. He failed to realize that the lollipop I had was one I found on the ground a few minutes before hand.
Goats are brash and offensive and cocky animals
Are you high and at a petting zoo again?
Just fucking put out. It'll be a good lay, promise. Stop being a prude. Damn it. A boy is trying to put his penis in you. APPRECIATE IT.
So when I eventually, if ever, find someone I'd like to marry, do you think having people fly to africa for a lion king themed wedding is too much?
Your mission, should you decide to accept it, is to pick up rum, beer, and cigarettes. Your holiday will self-destruct if you ignore this message.
Will you be super villain lesbian lovers with me for halloween?
I was about to google "rabies and sexual activity." Then I realized I was at work.
Beyoncé wouldn't let anything bad happen here
I'm too depressed to drink my wine. That is what I would call a serious problem
I'm seriously considering starting a savings account so I'll have bail money this summer.
had to remind myself that killing him is not a good career move AGAIN.
Randomize