It's going to be nice going to the airport without drugs taped to my balls like last year.
mom and dad are leaving for florida on 4/20, this is a sign
Just wandered into a surprise final. Only a surprise for me though. I wish I could say this is the first time this has happened.
Saying you want a bj does not count as saying you wanna see me btw.
This is even worse then that time I fucked a guy just because he had air conditioning.
THAT DOESN'T MEAN YOU SHOULD LET ME CHUG VODKA.
It was a deal breaker when she told me not to wear a condom and god would decide if we were meant to be together.
Dude she gave you head while I was in the closet, we've passed the "awkward" phase.
I deleted my history right in front of my girlfriend w/out her seeing. Let's go skydiving with no parachutes. I can live thru anything.
the liver wants what the liver wants
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
You got your ass kicked outside KFC on Tuesday
It was horribly awesome. Its like looking at the sun, you know its bad for you but I just couldn't stop looking.
Like wanna sit on your face while you speak German hot
It was like a single vaginal boat in a sea of one eyed monsters
Randomize
