Bc you can definitely buy condoms if ur a 14 year old girl
i wanna do a homemade sex video in sepia and pretend were in the early 20th c
when people say theyve been sober for however many years is that like couple beers not drunk sober, or no drinking sober?
I had a dream last night that I had to pretend I liked Dave Matthews Band to impress this girl I was talking to.
I guess it was more of a nightmare.
we're out of white wine, toilet paper and windex... too hard to explain via text
I just beer bonged a sparks. You better get your ass over here because no one is on my level yet
He asked what my name was on facebook chat. IT SAYS RIGHT THERE. i will never be drunk enough for this guy.
I just witnessed Grandma making her infamous daiquiris. Extraordinary.
Maybe shotgunning 4 days after oral surgery wasn't such a good idea after all...
She was shaking her boobs and I was so high all I could think was "breast maracas"
this is what happens when you pick a roommate a year in advance.. she ends up hating you for hooking up with for of her extended family members
He called me twice and texted me at 3am. Guess absence makes the dick grow harder.
The power of my boobs compel you
home. only unpacked the necessities...contact case and beer.
She put her coat on went to leave and called me an asshole. I responded with "I never said I wasn't" and then she pounced on me like a cat on cat nip.
Randomize
