Just saw a midget shotgun a coors light
there should be a rule against ugly people hooking up.
yeah...but then what would the ugly people do? hook up with pretty people? yeahhh..don't see that happening in the near future. plus i'm not okay with that.
seagrams + popov + pineapple + milk. there, ur search for worlds worst drink is over. you're welcome
I told him to show me what he was made of and he came on my face. law students are so technical.
apparently it isn't appropriate to tell a coworker who is eating celery because it's "negative calories" that a blowjob is too
I went on my dinner date pretending that my lunch date didn't jizz in my hair.
I don't even know man. I was to busy having beer showered on me and grabbing some balls
I just told him he had gained a new brother. He immediately knew I meant the eskimo kind.
Go big or go home. Or get a live in house boy you met 7 years ago and feel like you have unfullfilled potential. You know, the usual
Awareness is good for change and all, but ignorance is bliss. I like bliss.
I was "singing along to the Lego Movie" high. Everything was not awesome
I bought 10 disposable adhesive bras and duct tape. If Home Depot can't help my breasts defy gravity, nothing will...
LMAO
I vote we just hike, drink, and destroy dick
He was cute in a Sketchy-trying-to-sell-you-a-vaccum-at-9-at-night kinda way.
Im not as flexible as I once was, but I still managed to get eaten out in the front seat of a hummer behind keddies.
Randomize
