i wish there was an iPhone app that lets you write a TeXt LiKe tHiS
dude...come out of the closet already
all you did was keep googling "what time is it" over and over and over
So, apparently, "i expected your penis to be bigger" isn't good pillow talk.
Hmd? did you really just created an abbrievation for hold my dick?
In sex ed. they really need to include a lesson on saying tampon in foreign languages, just in case.... Trying to ask the woman at the reception desk, who barely speaks English, for one just turned into an awkward game of charades.
Took off my bra at the laundry mat to throw it in I am officially white trash
all I've ever wanted was a guy with twelve cats who will tie me up in bed
That's why i need nudes. Plutonic nudes.
I could have been on my second lucrative divorce by now, but nooooo, I had to be a strong independent woman.
We fucked to Bonnie Tyler in my car. He's the one.
I just want him to hold me after a bad midterm. Is that even too much to ask for after sleeping with him twice?
All time low: no dry towels so I'm using the sex towel to dry off
Well, thanks for not letting me sleep with anyone, but no thanks for telling everyone I have the clap.
she passed out standing next to the car. her head hit the door so hard the alarm went off. she instantly snapped out of it and started sprinting away
None of what you just said was coherent
I just bought wine at a gas station what the hell do you expect
Randomize
