Puking blue powerade in mcdonalds parking lot to the applause of the guy taking out the trash with man in the mirror blasting in the background. Good morning stl
people from other dorms came to marvel at the dump i took. i had a bio major take a picture.
know what turns me on? long, stringy hair on a pasty looking girl with an overstuffed backpack and kneepads over her jeans in case she falls off her scooter
your less of a man for seeing that
It took you an unbelievable amount of time to realize that your ass was on fire.
HER PREGGO ASS BROUGHT SPEGHETTI-O'S... IN HER PURSE.
So chef boyardee smells exactly the same after you throw it up
i literally discovered the exact same thing last week. i had the lasagna one
ravioli
im not picky. i just want someone whod go down on me while im writing my psych midterm paper. thats not a lot to ask.
apparently it isn't appropriate to tell a coworker who is eating celery because it's "negative calories" that a blowjob is too
I woke up smelling like the ciroc you tried pouring into my mouth last night. I think my clothes are still soaked
Me and the cabbie are stopping on the way at a sit down restaurant to eat. My life is so sad.
"willing to pay anyone fun whos willing to hang out and laugh at my jokes while my friends are MIA" is this to desperate?
Take a shit and have a hit. It's the Sunday Funday Rule.
Nothing screams "crazy cat lady" like a nursery in your house when you're over 30, single and have no kids.
I know that whole thing was awkward. Not worth the piece of cake.
Interlocking vagina powers go!!'
Oh god, your drunk again aren't you?
Randomize
