that's the ideal party shoe. cute, but i can still puke in them.
margarita wednesday is really going to dip into new year's eve thursday
yup. cregs moms pubic hair is still glued to the celing
He asked me why my bellybutton was so ugly... and wondered why i wasnt in the mood anymore.
Well we didn't hook up. Maybe from his girlfriend's point of view, but not mine.
no i brought the cat to the bar. I got a weird look when I walked in but now everyone loves her.
The fact that he just came out makes his Lent commitment to give up gay sex so much more meaningful now.
When you get up and look at yourself in the mirror, don't be alarmed. The doctor assured us last night that it looked way worse than it actually was and there won't be a scar when the stitches come out
I don't know what's more sad. The fact that I'm genuinely impressed about being sober for a whole 3 days or the fact that I want to get wasted in celebration.
You screamed "there will be blood" and punched some random guy in the face. So no, we can't go back to that bar.
Way too stoned bro. Was laying down on my back and thought for a good 30 mins what it would be like to be a turtle stuck on its shell
I hope you enjoy this collage I made of you and me getting fucked up together
He tried to puke in the 14th hole and when I told him to stop he started chanting "hole in one hole in one"
I should never be allowed to dance around children at weddings. I think I just insured that a 4 year old will be a future teen mom.
Although the guy I'm messing around with just offered to let me be his rich brother's sugar baby
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