i just made a list of the people i have slept with. is it bad that some of them are just either names of the places i met them or the color of the shirts?
i also rounded the number up for good measure. i am sure there are a few i have forgotten about.
i just shoved 27 marshmallows in my mouth
well thats a nice change of pace from what you normally put in your mouth
YOU CAN RENT MIDGETS ON CRAIGS LIST
I told you not to ruin your birthday surprise!
Yeah, it kinda sucks. But it was fun while it lasted. And honestly, his penis is way too big for my life.
dude you said you were going to be a human flag and climbed the telephone pole and fell in front of a car
when the washing machine is on all the beer bottles jiggle and clink against each other... "drink us drink us drink us"
There's a time and a place for everything. Except for getting wasted at a work event, puking in the parking lot, and sleeping in your car overnight.
Get your clothes on you are our DD for the night. The usual three way payment
My stripper pole led lights flash with the sound so it's awsome with music
I was telling everyone at the frat that they had to try the "fantastic refreshment" that was everclear, vodka and country time
Remember that guy I fucked last month? Well I'm watching his dog this weekend while he's in the Bahamas with his girlfriend. What is my life
I want your cock. I also want to cuddle you and tell you how amazing you are, because you know balance.
No, you are in the clear. The police officer finally just said "I give up" and walked away.
He sends me the same inspirational quote quotos that my grandma does. I no longer want to tap that.
HE WAS CUMMING IN THAT DICK PIC
Randomize
