At what point did I eat out of your mouth?
I wish sober me loved running as much as drunk me...
he just made me do "this little piggy" to his toes.
im sorry for trying to flush a roll of toilet paper down with my puke. probably not great for your toilet
So watch family guy till our brains melt and then bang till our bodies hurt?
When Pony by ginuwine plays I pretty much just grind on the nearest penis.
i dont know whats worse..that i woke up in a gorilla suit or that its covered in peanut butter
Running my fingers through my hair is like that scene from Patch Adams where the girl goes swimming in a pool of spaghetti. I love molly.
I got really adventurous too. Like. Balls in the mouth adventurous.
Literally, and I mean LITERALLY as in "not to be confused with a casual hyperbole", LITERALLY the day we broke up she slept with 3 different guys that night.
1) It's nice to see that the whole "English Major" thing is upping the quality of your rants 2) Have you considered that your dick was the cork holding her sluttiness in?
Eating breakfast at 1:30 in the afternoon stark naked is how everyone should live
If someone tells me they're a paramedic, how inappropriate is it for me to ask what their save to kill ratio is?
I cannot, in good conscience, let you talk to a guy who wears Chaps and a knit beanie
Sometimes I get confused on who I really actually know and who's lives I just know everything about via internet. Its a fine line
shit... I double booked my fuck buddies
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