Dude I'm telling you, conditioner is the best for jerking it in the shower. It feels great and afterwards everything is all smooth
i wanna make it FB official so he cant fuck anyone else. but that means i can't fuck anyone else either. CONUNDRUM
And then he said "I can't get blown while Gordon Bombay and Mr. Holland stare at me from the TV"
My jaw hurts. Such a slutty injury..
I am at 2.05 miles in under 11 minutes. So either this thing is broke or I should always work out wasted.
I can't break up with him, I ran the math. Taking into account his 7 inch penis and the standard deviation from average, almost 90% of guys should have a smaller penis than he does.
Really? Penis math? This is why guys shouldn't date female engineers.
Ya I painted "STOP TRYING ANAL" on her headboard. I'm sick of listening to her whine through the wall and bitch the next day.
The neighbors outside are screaming at one another about God knows what and everyone is too scared to go outside and we NEEd more beer
I feel my soul being ripped out of my eye sockets
I slipped on a piece of pizza last night and when the bouncer helped me up I told him the garbage can pushed me.
I want you to get off the plane and get directly into my pants
I feel like there's def a learning curve to the sex swing
There is blood all over my sheets and no discernible source.
Just made a drug contact standing in the sandwich line in the dining hall. Is this real life?
You're my fucking hero.
How do you explain to your parents that you can't go to the library because you got banned for being drunk in there... on a Sunday afternoon?
That's $100,000 of quality education right there.
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